"I want to recreate the Pequot War of 1636, but I don't want to use ordinary weapons, instead I want to use diarrhea." "How would that work, Matt Moore?" "I'm thinking whenever I see an Indian, I throw crap. Then instead of Pocahontas, I can scream, 'Poke-a-hot-ass,' but rather than it be traditionally offensive, it can mean the stream of hot ass I'm throwing." "Feels a little performance arty." Instead of listening to his agent, Matt Moore (4 IP, 10 ER), went ahead with his revolutionary war. Finally, Edwin Encarnacion (3-for-5, 6 RBIs, and his 7th, 8th and 9th homers) showed up. "I told you not to put my name on a tag on my foot." That's Edwin showing signs of life. Might still be able to buy him low due to his sub-Mendoza batting average (.191), but I'd buy fast, because he could go on a 17+ homers in a month power spree. Also, in this game, Jason Kipnis (2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer) said, "JK still playing baseball, not JK as in just kidding, but my initials. In case, ya know, you thought otherwise." I have little to no love for Kipnis, this was against one of the worst pitchers in baseball, and means little. "I'm not a bad pitcher, I'm a terrible historical recreator!" That's Matt Moore. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
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